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“I don’t believe that people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” ~Joseph Campbell
I was sitting on my yoga mat with my legs spread in front of me. I leaned forward, puffed and clenched my jaw and extended my fingers toward my toes. My anger was increasing every moment.
Many sour thoughts were roaming in my mind.
This is stupid. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing. I’m in terrible shape. This pose does not cause any problem to other people. This hurts. After all, why there is problem in doing yoga? This doesn’t work.
My mat resistance was strong at this point, but it was also a sign of a much bigger problem. Getting the pose “right” was not the issue here; I believed that unless I could bend in a certain direction, I would not be able to progress in my yoga teacher training.
I was not able to accomplish my goal. I was not “productive”.
And certainly there was no greater sin than that.
a collective fungus
The idea that you are not worthy unless you produce results has seeped into every aspect of our modern lives like deadly black mold.
We are always under pressure to aim, go somewhere or achieve something. “Doing nothing” is despised as laziness. Pursuing a hobby without any monetary value or social respect is considered a waste of time.
You only have a certain number of days on this planet. If you don’t spend them running around, you are of no use to anyone.
Are you writing a novel? Well, have you published it yet? How much money did you get for this?
Oh, you’ve started jogging? Why? Are you planning to run a marathon? What are your weight goals?
Don’t you want to leave behind a legacy? Don’t you want people to read a list of impressive accomplishments at your funeral?
But the truth is that the most meaningful things that happen to us in life don’t have a clear point.
You can’t enjoy the beauty of the sunset. There is no “purpose” for stargazing. Listening to a song that takes you out of time and space doesn’t pay the bills.
Moments like these are born of joy and wonder, and they are what give our lives meaning. Now is the time to allow ourselves to feel them.
1. Schedule time to do nothing.
Once I realized how much the burden of being productive was reducing my overall enjoyment in life, I started carving out time to just “be.” For me, this involves sitting on my porch with a glass of wine in hand, trying to be present to whatever is happening around me.
No phone, no music, no screen.
What became clear very quickly was how restless I had become without anything to do. I felt guilty and lazy. just what did it mean meeting Here, enjoying the views? I should do something there.
But I tried my best to ignore such feelings, and I kept performing for these pockets of allotted comfort. I noticed that slowly the shyness started going away. The more I allowed myself to do nothing, the more I felt my soul expanding into the space I created for it.
These drunken relaxation sessions on the veranda were just one way to cultivate gratitude and peace. I tried other things, too, like bringing a more presence-focused—and less goal-oriented—attitude to my yoga practice.
The “5-4-3-2-1” meditation was another helpful centering exercise. It goes something like this:
Stop for a moment and look around and notice five things you see. Then note four things you hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. You can mix and match which senses go with which number.
These moments of “having time” will look different for everyone. The point is to stop for a moment and notice what’s happening around you, right now.
Let go of the shame that is often associated with being “unproductive.” Give yourself permission to do nothing, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day.
2. Let go of the idea that “self-love” means “selfish.”
Giving yourself the grace to “be” is an integral part of self-love – a complex and guilt-provoking term for many of us because we have often been told that “self-love” is the same as “selfishness.”
This misconception is another way our society has prioritized the “hustle” over inner peace, and such an attitude often leads to a tragic rejection of our own feelings and boundaries.
Labeling self-love as selfish stems not from a healthy consideration of those around you but from a devaluation of your own humanity.
Self-love is the recognition that you have inherent worth as a human being that takes place on this beautiful green and blue marble.
In practice, this means doing things that reinforce this truth – nourishing you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually in some way.
For me, that means eating green and doing yoga. This means respecting my creative process by taking rest so I don’t burn out.
This means giving yourself permission to leave relationships that are driven by guilt or fear. This means practicing embodiment through breathing exercises and checking in with your mental health.
These are my ways of practicing self-love. They don’t have to be yours. Focus on what makes you feel free and happy. Then go do that.
Try embracing the fact that you deserve to be prioritized every day until this idea grows into a reality of your life.
3. Give yourself permission to not have a “purpose.”
Have you ever been on a job interview and the person sitting across from you asked, “So where do you see yourself in five years?”
Well, think of it as your official permission letter that you won’t know what you’re doing in five years or a year. You don’t even need to know what you’re doing tomorrow.
Our only “purpose” as humans is to move toward and reflect love. There are many different ways to do this, and everyone is entitled to discover the path that is right for them.
Ultimately, life is about pleasure, not about the subjective goal of productivity or success. Give yourself the grace to exist in this world. To survive is a miracle.
You are enough because you are.
