Saying NO – a practical approach — Kate Greenslade

PRACTICAL TOOLS TO PRACTICE SAYING NO

Preparation is key here. Prepare and practice specific phrases to make saying NO feel more natural and less confrontational. When you hear yourself say this out loud it will become more familiar to you, so when you need to say it to someone else it won’t feel as weird or difficult.

Here are some strategies to confidently deliver a no:

Own Your “No”
Understand and accept that it’s okay to prioritise your needs and limits. Practice phrases like, “I appreciate your offer, but I can’t commit to this right now.”

Kind Refusals
Approach the delivery of your no with kindness and sincerity. For instance, “I really wish I could help, but I’m not able to take on any more responsibilities at the moment.”

Make It About You
Instead of focusing on the negatives of the request, keep the refusal about your own needs. Say, “I need to focus on my current commitments, so I won’t be able to dedicate the time needed for your project.”

Practice Out Loud
Say your prepared phrases out loud in a mirror or during a quiet moment so they come more naturally when needed. Hearing yourself say these words helps build confidence in your ability to use them in real situations.

Reflect on Past Experiences
Consider times when you wish you had said no, and think about how those situations could have been handled differently. Use these reflections to strengthen your resolve to say no in the future.

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TRY THIS…

Spending some time journaling on this can be really supportive.

The more you strengthen your relationship with the word NO the easier it will be to maintain your boundaries and energy. Here are a few simple questions that help with exploration.

1) When was the last time I wish I’d said NO in a situation? If I could re-live that moment, what exact words would I have preferred to use instead?

2a) What do I feel when I want to say NO but I say YES instead? Where do I feel that in my body? 
2b) The next time that comes up and I feel that physical sensation, what is the kindest thing I can say to myself in order to acknowledge it’s presence but not fight it? When we do this the uncomfortable feeling is more likely to move on and flow through us more quickly than if we fight it.

3) How can I model saying NO to other people that I care about? 

Good luck! And have some fun with this too…

Bringing a sense of lightness to our inner work helps to learn new ways faster and in more depth.