Being Well Podcast: The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair

In this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the silent killer of relationships: resentment. They discuss resentment as a combination of perceived grievance (“I was wronged”) and helplessness (“and I can’t fix it”), before talking about how over-functioning and control tendencies can lead to resentment in relationships – one person shoulders more of the load while quietly stewing about it. Topics include the role of rumination in keeping resentment alive, the difference between legitimate grievances and toxic rumination, and why resentment can feel protective. Rick shares a step-by-step framework for handling resentment when repair isn’t possible, while Forrest highlights how communication and claiming agency can be powerful antidotes.

Key Topics

• 00:00: Intro
• 04:14: Legitimate grievances vs. unhealthy resentment
• 09:44: How perceptions of injustice and helplessness fuel these feelings
• 20:04: Claiming your agency
• 34:41: How to work through difficult emotions with others
• 50:11: How to work through difficult emotions when you can’t work through them with others
• 1:02:51: Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.